Walking with Dave who went into the fields near the river and eventually found a rat esconced under the turned over soil foraging for wheat stubble.The more I became involved in looking for this rat the higher my bloodlust and excitement became until we seemed to working together almost unspoken to locate and kill the rat.

When the rat jumped out of the hole Dave and I chased it to it’s inevitable death.The thrill and intensity of the hunt was indescribable. I really enjoyed it and then when it was over asked myself why?

There is no answer but Dave and I have been ratting since very successfully and I will continue to do so even though I am intensely against the killing of any sentient being.

So, I am still pondering this phenomenen.

Answers on a postcard please.

So now 2 weeks later having pondered on this phenomenon I have come to some philosophical conclusions.

Between us we have now killed some 9 rats and the excitement doesn’t diminish for either of us, but what does this all mean.

Several philosophical questions come to mind.

As I said before I am not a bloodsports person and abhor killing,this maybe because of my operational Army service or perhaps I never really did and am certainly against capital punishment and any harm coming to all sentient beings. However, I feel no great loss as to the rats demise and having discussed it was generally praised for Dave’s actions by local people.Yet rats play a role in our ecological environment and in fact have a indispensable use within the animal kingdom.

So this personal conundrum is interesting in that:-

1. I feel no guilt killing rats

2.or vicariously using Dave to do it

3.or the excitement that it generates and which I wish to actively continue to pursue. 

Therefore, is it because I am questioning it within myself  that this relates to my heightened self awareness and can I then relate that into my personal leadership style.I have come to this conclusion.

If only we would all reflect and question our actions and how they relate to our personal values even for what may seem to be the most innocuous things, where might that take us as individuals in our lives and the impact we have on others.

Why did I seek affirmation from others if I innately knew that what I was doing was wrong?

And so this is the constant question we should be asking ourselves about all our behaviours and I believe it is,

“Where does my self interest lay in what I am about to do??

It’s a “BIGGY” isn’t it but where might it takes us as individual human beings and subsequently as leaders?